This is it, this is the moment where I make a conscious effort to finish my goddamn novel. I declare complete writing incompetence. It has been too long to justify anymore, and the novel is crying out for some much-needed attention.
So I’m writing it here in the hope that it will hold me accountable and I’ll actually get it finished – which means on to the rewrite and the edits and staring my writing incompetence in the face. I have so much planned for the beginning and the middle but for some reason, the ending terrifies me. I think it’s because one of my characters has gone rogue and I’m not sure what I’m going to do in order to tie up his loose ends. Maybe I’ll shrug and let him run riot and see what comes of it. But don’t you hate it when things like that happen? Plus I think my main character is on the verge of becoming tropey and I wanna avoid that at all costs.
I have finished a total of two novels over the last few years and I always get caught up with the ending and the inevitable edits and rewrites that come with it – my writing incompetence strikes again. I struggle to plan properly and come up with arcing timelines. They always get muddled and confused, plus this book at the moment seems to be a sequence of drama and meeting people, I don’t think I pull it off as well as I want to.
Boy does it feel good, to be honest about my writing and the novel sat on my drive waiting to be touched. It has brought up that underlying anxiety that the idea I have isn’t actually good enough to be used and that makes me wanna vomit a little. I will never know if I don’t finish. I’m extremely lucky to have people in my corner ready to read and critique it, but I still have to reach the stage where it’s ready to be critique where I feel like it can stand on its own.
My novel baby is nowhere near crawling let alone walking.
So there it is. On black and white. On the internet. Forever. I am dedicating time to my novel. I will finish it. I will.
Do you write? What is the hardest part of your process? Let me know in the comments and we discuss our hardships together!
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